Computer Problems

[Apache]

Allegedly these golden oldies from computer company helpdesks are true.

Feel a bit superior as you read them!

1. Compaq is considering changing the command, "Press Any Key" to "Press Return Key" because of the flood of calls asking where the Any key is.

2. AST technical support had a caller complaining that her mouse was hard to control with the dust cover on. The cover turned out to be the plastic bag the mouse was packaged in.

3. Another Compaq technician received a call from a man complaining that the system wouldn't read word processing files from his old diskettes. The customer had stuck the labels on the diskettes, then rolled them into a typewriter to type the labels.

4. Another customer was asked to send a copy of her defective diskettes. A few days later a letter arrived with photocopies of the diskettes.

5. A Dell technician advised a customer to put his troubled floppy back in the drive and close the door. The customer asked the tech to hold on, and was heard putting down the phone, getting up and crossing the room to close the door to his room.

6. Another Dell customer called to say he couldn't get his computer to fax anything. After 40 minutes of troubleshooting, the tech discovered the man was trying to fax a piece of paper by holding it in front of the monitor screen and hitting the send key.

7. Yet another Dell customer called to complain that his keyboard no longer worked. He had cleaned it by filling up his tub with soap and water and soaking the keyboard for a day, then removing all the keys and washing them individually.

8. A Dell technician received a call from a customer who was enraged because his computer had told him he was bad and an invalid. The tech explained that the computer's bad and invalid responses shouldn't be taken seriously.

9. A confused caller to IBM was having trouble printing documents. He told the technician that the computer had said it couldn't find the printer. The user had also tried turning the computer screen to face the printer but that his computer still couldn't see the printer.

10. An exasperated caller to Dell Computer Tech support couldn't get her new Dell Computer to turn on. After ensuring that the computer was plugged in, the technician asked her what happened when she pushed the power button. Her response was, "I pushed and pushed on this foot pedal and nothing happened." The foot pedal turned out to be the computer's mouse.

11. Another customer called Compaq tech support to say her brand new computer wouldn't work. She said she unpacked the unit, plugged it in and sat there for 20 minutes waiting for something to happen. When asked what happened when she pressed the power switch, she asked, "What power switch?"

12. True story from a Novell NetWire SysOp:
Caller: Hello, is this Tech Support?
Tech: Yes, it is. How may I help you?
Caller: The cup holder on my PC is broken and I am within my warranty. How do I go about getting that fixed?
Tech: I'm sorry, but did you say a cup holder?
Caller: Yes, it's attached to the front of my computer.
Tech: Please excuse me if I seem a little stumped, it's because I am. Did you receive that as a part of a promotion, at a trade show?
Caller: It came with my computer. I don't know anything about a promotion. It just has 4X on it.

At this point the tech rep had to hit the mute button on the phone because he was laughing way too hard. The caller had been using the load drawer of the CD-ROM drive as a cup holder, and snapped off the drive!

13. Another IBM customer had trouble installing software and rang for support. He said, "I put in the first disk, and that was okay. It said to put in the second disk, and I had some problems with the second disk. When it said to put in the third disk - I couldn't even fit it in!" The user hadn't realized that insert Disk 2 meant to remove Disk 1 first."

[ppc_digger]

For those interested, there are tons of those over at Rinkworks.

Caution: Only go there when you have a good eight hours to waste. It's addictive. (I especially like the Stupid Tech Support category)

[hjort]

That`s hilarious!

I really like #12

[WeirdEars]

I love that Rinkworks site. I discovered it yesterday. I was reading it for hours...

[ppc_digger]

@hjort: Your sig should be added to the list.

Although Bill Gates denies ever saying that.

[fzajac]

Hehehe... Nice LooooooL

And #12 is best...

[Bender]

For those interested, there are tons of those over at Rinkworks.

Caution: Only go there when you have a good eight hours to waste. It's addictive. (I especially like the Stupid Tech Support category)

I've wasted a lot of my life on that site...

[The Distractor]

I love #1. That makes me recall an episode of 'The Simpsons'

Homer (reading from screen): "Press Any Key To Continue"
Homer: Where's the 'Any' key?

hahaha lol

[___]

gave me a laugh!

[tpemail]

Old but classic computer jokes

No.12 is the best. Even today I still remind my dad not to "leave your cupholder out" when he forgot to push the tray back...