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 PostPost subject: Toddlers Miracle Diet        Posted: Fri Oct 06, 2006 8:50 am 
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TODDLER MIRACLE DIET

People are always on the lookout for a new diet. The trouble with most diets is
that you don't get enough to eat (the starvation Diet), you don't get enough
variation (the liquid diet) or you go broke (the all-meat diet). Consequently,
people tend to cheat of their diets, or quit after 3 days.

Well, now there's the new Toddler Miracle Diet. Over the years you may have noticed
that most two year olds are trim. Now the formula to their success is available to
all in this new diet.

You may want to consult your doctor before embarking on this diet,otherwise, you may
be seeing him afterwards.

GoodLuck!!!

***********

DAY ONE

BREAKFAST: One scrambled egg, one piece of toast with grape jelly. Eat two bites
of egg, using your fingers; dump the rest On the floor. Take 1 bite of toast, then
smear the jelly over your face and clothes.

LUNCH: Four crayons (any color), a handful of potato chips, and a glass of milk (3
sips only, then spill the rest).

DINNER: A dry stick, two pennies and a nickel, 4 sips of flat Sprite.

BEDTIME SNACK: Throw a piece of toast on the kitchen floor.

***********

DAY TWO

BREAKFAST: Pick up stale toast from kitchen floor and eat it. Drink half bottle of
vanilla extract or one vial of vegetable dye.

LUNCH: Half tube of "Pulsating Pink" lipstick and a handful Of Purina Dog Chow (any
flavor). One ice cube, if desired.

AFTERNOON SNACK: Lick an all-day sucker until sticky, take outside, drop in dirt.
Retrieve and continue slurping until it is clean again. Then bring inside and drop
on rug.

DINNER: A rock or an uncooked bean, which should be thrust up your left nostril.
Pour Grape Kool-Aid over mashed potatoes; eat with spoon.

***********

DAY THREE

BREAKFAST: Two pancakes with plenty of syrup, eat one with fingers, rub in hair.
Glass of milk; drink half, stuff other pancake in glass. After breakfast, pick up
yesterdays sucker from rug, lick off fuzz, put it on the cushion of best chair.

LUNCH: Three matches, peanut butter and jelly sandwich. Spit several bites onto
the floor. Pour glass of milk on table and slurp up.

DINNER: Dish of ice cream, handful of potato chips, some red punch. Try to laugh
some punch through your nose, if possible.

***********

FINAL DAY

BREAKFAST: A quarter tube of toothpaste (any flavor), bit of soap, an olive. Pour
a glass of milk over bowl of cornflakes, add half a cup of sugar. Once cereal is
soggy, drink milk and feed cereal to dog.

LUNCH: Eat bread crumbs off kitchen floor and dining room carpet. Find that sucker
and finish eating it.

DINNER: A glass of spaghetti and chocolate milk. Leave meatball on plate. Stick
of mascara for dessert.

***********


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 PostPost subject:        Posted: Fri Oct 06, 2006 9:19 am 
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LMFAO! That was so funny lol, hope its not just me and my childish sense of humor tho, oh man =']

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 PostPost subject:        Posted: Fri Oct 06, 2006 12:35 pm 
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hahah... beats the Atkins diet any day ;)


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 PostPost subject:        Posted: Fri Oct 06, 2006 4:03 pm 
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much easier to go for a walk every day


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 PostPost subject:        Posted: Fri Oct 06, 2006 9:36 pm 
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LMFAO! That was really funny. I enjoyed reading it.


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