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 PostPost subject: Microsoft's Marketing Strategy        Posted: Tue Apr 10, 2007 11:35 pm 
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Wed Apr 11, 2007 2:11 pm


Germany, Earth

Favourite OS
Windows 10
This is the source of a cpp file I found in the Internet:

#include /* Microsoft Network Connectivity library */
#include /* for the court of law */

#define say(x) lie(x)
#define computeruser ALL_WANT_TO_BUY_OUR_BUGWARE
#define next_year soon
#define the_product_is_ready_to_ship another_beta_version

void main()
   if(latest_window_version > one_month_old)


      make_false_promise(it_will_be_multitasking); /* Standard Call, in lie.h */


         say("It will be ready in one month");
         order(programmers, stop_fixing_bugs_in_old_version);
         order(programmers, start_brainstorm_about_new_version);
         order(marketingstaff, permission_to_spread_nonsense);

   switch (nasty_questions_of_the_worldpress)
         say("It will be ready in", today+30_days," we're just testing");

         say("Yes it will work");
         ask(programmers, why_does_it_not_work);

         say("It will run on a 8086 with lightning speed due to"" the 32 bits architecture");
         inform(INTEL, "Pentium sales will rise skyhigh");
         inform(SAMSUNG, "Start a new memorychip plant""'cos all these customers will need at least 32 megs");
         inform(QUANTUM, "Thanks to our fatware your sales will triple");
         get_big_bonus(INTEL, SAMSUNG, QUANTUM);

         say("Oh no, we are just here to make a better world for everyone");

         register(journalist, BIG_BILL_BOOK);


               order(journalist, "write a nice objective article");

   while (vapourware)
      introduction_date++; /* Delay */

      say("It will be ready in",today+ONE_MONTH);


      bills_bank_account += 150*megabucks;

         say("that is a hardware problem, not a software problem");

            order(microsoft_intelligence_agency, "Keep an eye on this [censored]");

      if(bills_bank_account > skyhigh && marriage > two_years)
         wave(dollars, at_lusty_chicks);


         accuse(company, stealing_our_ideas);
         hire(a_lot_of_lawyers); /* in process.h */

   /* Now everyone realizes that we sell bugware and they are all angry at us */

   order(plastic_surgeon, make_bill_look_like_poor_bastard);
   laugh_at(everyone, for_having_the_patience_year_after_year_for_another_unfinished_version);

void bugfix(void)
   charge (a_lot_of_money)

      say("It is not a bugfix but a new version");

      register(customer, big_Bill_book); /* We'll get him when everyone uses Billware!!*/

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