Post subject: Re: Small jokes thread Posted: Fri Mar 11, 2011 6:45 pm
1337 Beta Collector
Joined Wed Aug 18, 2010 6:54 pm
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Location Cambridgeshire, England, UK
Favourite OS Arch Linux
I have a problem. Every time I look in the mirror I throw up. I consulted the doctor about this. "What's wrong with me?" I said. He said, "I don't know, but your eyesight is perfect."
_________________ Hi. I'm a Linux user, programmer, science enthusiast, and as of recently, a website administrator - I run a small forum on my Raspberry Pi. Click my profile to get a link to it.
Post subject: Re: Small jokes thread Posted: Thu Apr 21, 2011 3:01 am
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Joined Mon Apr 18, 2011 1:30 am
Posts 18
Favourite OS Win7
A hot blonde walks into an appliance store. She tells the sales person at the counter that she wants to buy the television that's on display behind him.
The sales clerk tells the blonde that he can't do that because they aren't allowed to sell anything to blondes. He refers her to the sign behind him that states "We do no sell to Blondes"
The next day the blonde returns wearing a brunette wig. Again she tells the sales clerk that she wants to buy the TV on display.
The sales clerk says that he told her yesterday that he can't sell it to her.
The blonde asks, "How did you know it was me?"
The sales clerk says, "Because that's a microwave on the display"
Post subject: Re: Small jokes thread Posted: Sat Apr 23, 2011 10:51 pm
Pro Beta Collector
Joined Wed Apr 06, 2011 3:10 pm
Posts 338
Favourite OS Neptune 5111, Whistler 2430
Newspaper Headline: Police Begin Campaign to Run Down Jaywalkers - Well, at least it will teach them, bit harsh though IMO. Newspaper Headline: Crack Found on Governor's Daughter - Now really! Newspaper Headline: Miners Refuse to Work after Death - Using that as an excuse really just doesn't cut it. Newspaper Headline: Cold wave linked to temperatures - And it wasn't, when?
A sign in a London department store: BARGAIN BASEMENT UPSTAIRS An office sign: Toilet out of action, please use floor below Repair Shop: We can repair anything. Please knock, doorbell is broken.
Some grammar fails in headlines (full stops and commas please!):
Eye drops off shelf Two sisters reunite after eighteen years at checkout counter Lawmen from Mexico barbecue guests Two Soviet ships collide - one dies
Post subject: Re: Small jokes thread Posted: Tue Apr 26, 2011 6:09 pm
Amateur Beta Collector
Joined Sat Jan 29, 2011 6:31 pm
Posts 55
Favourite OS NeXTSTEP 4.0
In 1996 i was working at a local computer store, when a woman came in and told me that her computer did not find the printer. "I even turned the screen against it and it still couldn't see it." she said.
Post subject: Re: Small jokes thread Posted: Tue Apr 26, 2011 6:20 pm
1337 Beta Collector
Joined Tue Dec 01, 2009 2:56 am
Posts 6087
NeXT Computers wrote:
In 1996 i was working at a local computer store, when a woman came in and told me that her computer did not find the printer. "I even turned the screen against it and it still couldn't see it." she said.
õ_ô
And today, instead of monitors, people would be complaining that their webcams are broken.
Post subject: Re: Small jokes thread Posted: Wed Apr 27, 2011 1:05 am
Pro Beta Collector
Joined Wed Apr 06, 2011 3:10 pm
Posts 338
Favourite OS Neptune 5111, Whistler 2430
A man walks into a bar and there is a monkey pianist sitting there. The man orders a drink and looks around. He turns back to see the monkeys tail in his drink. He turns to the monkey and asks him, "Excuse me, do you know your tail is in my drink?" and the monkey says "no, but if you whistle it, I'll try to play it."
NeXT Computers wrote:
In 1996 i was working at a local computer store, when a woman came in and told me that her computer did not find the printer. "I even turned the screen against it and it still couldn't see it." she said.
I was working with a computer technician back in 1997 and heard something very similar but with a modem that it wasn't communicating with the computer and she wanted to know how she could get the computer to talk and work together.
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